2 posts tagged “black ice”

I've been temping. It's only been 4 days, but the step on my soul is hard - my biorhythm doesn't involve a 6am wake-up time, usually. my soul hates offices and "business casual" and suddenly I am surrounded by commuters from the suburbs, people who live DRASTICALLY different lives than I. I don't so much mind the bus though, generally, as it's giving me time to sit, knit and meditate.

I am, however, searching for my creativity in all of this - it comes in spurts, this I know, just like my shop sales, but I seem to have lost both for a second. I've finished up the last few custom jobs and gotten all my current orders out into the world and now... there's this lull, and once again, it's time to pay rent. seems like it was just yesterday. Too, I suffer a new detriment - i've dropped my digital camera into the ocean. I use my camera regularly to photograph product and thus, generate income so there's a bit of a catch-22 scenario now taking place. Might be time for you to get that SCRAPZ pendant you've been wanting!

Yemaya expects her thanks and I suppose mine wasn't good enough, long enough, or strong enough yesterday. I drove out to the Oregon coast and let the shock of a blizzard in spring, the sound of the waves, the infinity of the horizon, lull me back into the bigger picture.  On the way home I hit a patch of black ice. My life did flash before my eyes but soon enough I was sitting in a snow drift off the side of the road and shortly thereafter that, someone else towed me back out onto the road. There was no damage to me, my car or my friend, but i drove 30mph in 4WD for a while until we hit the suburbs. I was never so happy to see urban sprawl.

Today is my day of rest, my day of refusal to everyone but myself. There was a time when I believed moving to Portland, Oregon from New York City would clear my life of the 'distractions' that kept me from achieving my own personal goals. That never worked out - this is a vibrant city despite its much smaller size and alarmingly random weather and there is always something to do - I spread myself a bit too thin this past week and started suffering the consequences.

I do believe it's time to clean and clear my space and hope for the best. time to pray.  Tonight it's going to be an early one so I can start the 6am routine all over again tomorrow - pathetically enough, I am a single woman who's looking forward to solo time and an early bedtime tonight. Yes, tonight, I am having a date with myself. Tonight it's me, my pillows, and a movie, and those damned yoga socks I've been working on for a month.

As for those things, after frogging and reknitting the instep at least six times I think i've finally jumped the hurdle pattern-wise (though I'll have to frog and reknit the instep yet again to find out). I'm both loving and hating the challenge - Mac'N'Me makes beautiful patterns though I've scribbled all over mine in hopes that I'll remember all the stuff I had to figure out on my own when I eventually get around to the second sock.

For now, however, I'll have to put this project aside to get started on a Mother's Day gift. Since it apparently takes me over a month to knit a pair of socks, I should get started on hers, using some incredible yarn I got off another knitter on Ravelry for half the price. I'd first discovered Zitron Trekking Pro Natura at Twisted, a yarn shop here in Portland that has quite the focus on socks and sock yarn. I'm not sure why anyone would want to give this yarn up, especially since I discovered moments ago that the colorway I've chosen for Mom's socks is named "New Mexico". Jeez, I hope I don't have a hard time giving them to her.

i've had several encounters with my companion spirits - last night i had another one.  this is a journal entry from a personal, more private weblog i keep that's connected to another social networking site, but i wanted to share it here because what happened was important and intense. I'm currently working on a book project, a series of essays and vignettes, and the first draft is scheduled to be complete at the end of April. More than likely an edited version of this recount will appear in it as it follows the subject matter.

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so i hijacked a friend and we drove off to the coast [of Oregon] and it was beautiful. by the time we hit tillamook we were in a blizzard. after we drove out of it we pulled over, went for a short walk and followed a trail of elk tracks and poop in the snow, and then the sun came out and then it hailed some, and then we hit the ocean for a while and ate a bunch of seafood and walked down to the shore. i dropped my camera in the ocean. it may or may not be okay. i might have to buy a new one (i use it to generate income, too). on the bright side, i do not have to buy a new car or a new friend or a new life. i'm alive, even though there was a brief moment earlier tonight when i thought i might not be that way much longer...

we'd started driving back east to portland on 26 when i hit a patch of black ice and all of a sudden i'm flying through the air just thinking "oh fuck i hope i don't kill my friend god i hope we don't hit a tree uh oh insurance i might be about to feel a lot of pain shit is this it?"

then i'm offered a split second, the same instant, to redeem myself - my life flashes before me and it's amazing, how amazing my now is right now. everything has led to this moment and it's happening as it should, and now i am freefalling.

we come to an abrupt stop in a pile of snow on the other side of the road, facing the other direction. it's up to my knees when i step out, up to the tops of the wheel wells in back and in a slight ditch, but we are fine, uninjured, and the truck's still running. it won't budge from its position but we haven't hit anything and there is no damage. we are alive right now, cracklingly alive. my neck aches with adrenaline. i take a profoundly deep breath and we spring into action. My friend jumps into the road with a flashlight. I cancel the transaction with AAA as he flags down a giant pick-up truck. the driver casually tows us back out onto the road. It is a quick affair, the whole process. It's almost as if it didn't happen.

Still, driving is now a slightly more harrowing affair. A few foggy miles later I pull over for a second, regrouping and trying to decide whether i should save gas or stay in four wheel drive. the guy in the pick-up truck pulls up and checks on us again. we're fine, i tell him. i'm just letting people pass. i am sitting on the side of the road working up the balls to get home, searching for my faith.

Fuck it, i take the chance.

thank you, angel! i yell out the window before he hops back into his truck. he waves.